On The Juggle today, there was an interesting article introducing a book that talks about how women “sabotage” their careers.
To quote, here are some things that the article listed as typical female office behavior:
“1. Speak too softly and aren’t heard
2. Groom in public, which “deemphasizes…capability.”
3. Sit too demurely, rather than leaning forward at the table in meetings.
4. Speak last in meetings. Early speakers are seen as more assertive and authoritative.
5. Ask permission, while men inform.
6. Apologize too much for every little thing.
7. Smile too often, which can dilute a message.
8. Play too fair.
9. Operate behind the scenes, which enables competitors to take credit for one’s work.
10. Offer a limp handshake.”
I don’t think I manifest any of these behaviors in the classroom, but I do tend to do this in the office—is that because I’m the lowly intern? Or because I’m Asian?
Speaking softly, sitting demurely, speaking last, asking permission, apologizing, smiling, doing thankless jobs—those are all seen as virtues in women in Asian culture. And especially after having come from a year in the Japanese workplace, those “virtues” are lingering in the way I carry myself in the office.
I guess it’s time to watch more television—and brainwash myself with images of:
1. Patty Hewes, of Damages
2. Christina Hawthorne, of Hawthorne
3. Lisa Cuddy, of House
4.(and perhaps my personal favorite) Xena “You-Have-To-Be-Ready-To-Kill” Warrior Princess
Any other suggestions? :)
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You know, don’t fall into that typical Asian or even “betty-crocker time submissive woman” type! :) And I don’t think you ever will. :)
Here is MY opinion:
3. Sit too demurely, rather than leaning forward at the table in meetings.
–> too passive. she can do nothing to change any policy or impact ANYTHING that this world needs change for.
4. Speak last in meetings. Early speakers are seen as more assertive and authoritative.
–> early speakers are seen as decisive and confident. WHY cant women be that?
6. Apologize too much for every little thing.
–> I used to do that and have trained myself not to do that… and dang… even OTHER women respect me more.
10. Offer a limp handshake.”
Comment by hanajang September 24, 2010 @ 8:58 pm–> HECK NO.